1. yesterday was fun/weird (which is how most nights out have been going these days) but i woke up this morning and felt a little like dying. 

2. i feel like i’m constantly making a mess of things. it feels like something terrible happened yesterday (and granted, it did) but these things usually don’t affect me much so i’m not sure if that’s it. i feel terribly inadequate, i don’t know what i’m feeling.  

3. i need to start making changes in my life. i need to start taking care of myself better. i need to start being more responsible. i need to learn to be a better friend, sister, daughter. i need to break ties with people who are doing more harm in my life than good.  and as cliche as it sounds, having just turned 20 might just be the opportunity i need. 

4. which is ironic, because i should be working on a paper right now that was due yesterday, but i’ve spent my day in bed binge-watching veronica mars. 

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at first i thought: u cute

and then it was: dang u weird

and now it’s: dang u weird but it’s so damn cute 
and that’s the most dangerous of all 

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yr making it REAL difficult to not have a crush on u right now 

one of my closest friends is sort of turning out to be a shitty person and the boy i like doesn’t like me back and my sister doesn’t have time for me anymore.

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ANXIETY GAME = SO STRONG

sext: punch me in the fucking face

sext: come over and watch shitty reality shows w/ me 

sext: you’re so odd i wanna kiss you on the forehead 

the stranger this boy gets the more attracted i am what is going on?